The other day, I made some pizzas as a dinner time treat. So, I thought I'd share with everyone how I went about it. Please note that I am not a chef, and this may in fact be a really stupid way of making pizzas, but I don't care because they were AWESOME.
THINGS YOU WILL NEED
700g strong white bread flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon easy blend dried yeast
1 teaspoon sugar
15 fl oz (425ml) warmish water
pizza toppings
tomato sauce
courage
determination
PLEASE PREHEAT YOUR LOVELY OVEN TO IT'S LOWEST SETTING, K.
I'm basically going to tell you Delia Smith's recipe for bread, but in a more fun way, and we steer away from the whole bread thing towards the end and venture down to pizza town.
Okay, so step...
ONE.
After preheating your oven, you need to measure out 700g of your strong white bread flour, and then find something ovenable to put it in. I used a baking tray with tallish sides. Then put it in the oven for 10 minutes.
I have no idea what this bit is for, but Delia says to do it, so do it.
TWO.
While you wait for your flour to warm up in the oven for reasons unknown, you can measure out the other stuff and throw it all in a bowl. You're meant to sift it all, but it's all tiny grainy stuff, so I don't bother.
THREE.
When your flour has served it's 10 minutes in the oven, take it out. Be careful, it will be hot, so put on some trendy and cool oven gloves.
FOUR.
Sift the flour into the bowl with the other things. You will need to sift the flour, no more sifting shortcuts for you.
Please don't freak out when you discover that your flour has gone harder in the oven, and it's trickier to sift now. That's just the way Delia intended it. Use a spoon to bash the stupid clumpy bits into submission.
FIVE.
Now that you have all your dry stuff together, make a well in the middle of it all. And by "well", I mean just use your hand as a shovel and make a big hole in the middle. But don't throw the dry stuff over your shoulder or anything and make a pile on the kitchen floor, leave it all in the bowl.
It should now look like this. If it doesn't, I don't know what to say to you.
SIX.
Get your 15 fl oz (425ml) of warmish water, and tip it into the well. I usually save a bit of water because I freak out that I'll over saturate it, despite it working every time. Then I add the saved water when I'm satisfied it's not going horribly wrong.
This is an ACTION SHOT. You will have more water than that once it's all been poured in.
SEVEN.
Use a wooden spoon to mix it all up. Once it's all mixed, you can use your hands to make sure it's all mixed properly. But use the spoon first, otherwise it ends up a bit silly for some reason.
This photo is out of focus. I hope you can forgive me.
EIGHT.
It should look a bit like this.
NINE.
Then like this, after you've kneaded it for 2 minutes. Kneading basically means punching it gently until you get bored.
TEN.
Shove your dough in a big bowl. Then get some cling film big enough to cover the top of the bowl. Put the cling film down on a flat surface. Lightly oil one side of the cling film. Now put the cling film over the bowl. Your bowl should be big enough to allow the dough to double in size. If it isn't, your bowl is shit. Now, leave it at room temperature for 2 hours, or if you forget to make it and you're short on time like I did, shove it in the airing cupboard for 1 hour and hope for the best.
ELEVEN.
Get your dough after waiting for it to double in size (it never actually "doubles" in size, but it will become bigger). Now, take it out the bowl, put it on a flat surface and punch the bejesus out of it, this is getting all the air out. Now, get yourself some baking trays and oil them lightly. This recipe makes 4 pizzas, so divide your dough into four chunks. Now, on a flat surface, sprinkle some flour around and take each chunk one by one, and roll them into pizza shapes. Take your time and don't freak out and go crazy when the dough keeps shrinking back smaller, eventually it will get bored of these mind games. You want them to be roughly 0.5cm thick. Put your pizza bases onto your baking trays, and then lightly oil the top of the pizza bases.
It will look something like this. My pizzas were slightly too big for the trays, but it's ok, if your's are too, just go with the flow and lightly oil the sides where the pizza is so it doesn't get stuck later.
TWELVE.
Now for the weird bit. Shove each of the baking trays with pizzas on inside a clean plastic carrier bag. My mum told me to do this, I'm sure she has her reasons. Then leave them like this for about 45 minutes.
Peekaboo!
THIRTEEN.
In preparation for the unveiling of the carrier bag pizzas, I made myself what I called "THE LOADING STATION". I got myself some small bowls, and filled them with various pizza toppings. To give you some awesome inspiration, I'll tell you what I had in THE LOADING STATION: tuna, red peppers, sweetcorn, mushrooms, ham, onion, red chilli, peppadews, cheddar cheese and mozzarella. Also, my fiancé likes sultanas on pizzas, so we had those out too, but that's a bit weird, so don't feel you have to include those on yours, ok? Also, preheat the oven now to around 160 degrees C (fan oven). I don't know what that is in other non-fan oven terms, I'm sorry, you'll have to work it out because I'm not going to.
FOURTEEN.
Take your pizza base out of the plastic bag, and go crazy. Remember, tomato sauce goes on first, cheese goes on last, unless you want cheese underneath your toppings as well, which is a bit extravagant, but I hear it's a good move.
I had tuna, sweetcorn, red chilli, peppadews, onion, mushroom, cheddar and mozzarella.
FIFTEEN.
Cook it, cook it now. Don't wait. Why would you wait? Is someone being slow at putting toppings on their pizza? LEAVE THEM BEHIND. Cook them at around 160 degrees C, for roughly half an hour, or until they look done. They'll rise again in the oven, which is why you should have rolled them out to roughly 0.5cm. If you didn't follow this advise, your pizza might be thicker and take longer to cook. Which is your own fault for going rogue.
I know right? Mouthgasm.
THE END.
FYI, if you wanted to make normal bread, then at step eleven, after you've waited for it to double in size, instead of rolling it flat, you want to beat the air out of it like normal, then shape it into an oblong shape. Grease yourself a loaf tin, and outside of the tin, fold one end of your oblong dough to the middle of the dough, then fold the other side on top of that, making a layered piece of dough. Now put that dough into the tin as it is, put this inside a carrier bag and leave for 1 hour at room temperature so that the dough can rise a bit. Then whack your oven up to 220 degrees C, and bake the bread for about 35 minutes. You'll know it's finished baking if you hit it gently on top and it sounds hollow. Leave it to cool on a wire cooling thing after you've cut yourself some hot bread and smeared it with butter.
